Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat, His Wife Could Eat No Lean – or My Husband is an Ectomorph

16 Apr

My husband is an ectomorph, one of those naturally slender, willowy people who glide through life without their thighs rubbing together. If we met as children, I would have had to stack him up with two other ectomorphs to play see-saw.  He weighed less in college than I weighed in 6th grade. He’s shaped like a board of matzo. I am an Easter Egg.  Even if I perpendicularize myself–that is, stand sideways while he is front on–I am still wider than he is.  It’s not only that he doesn’t gain weight when he eats.  He just doesn’t love to eat.  If he’s busy, or tired, or a bit distracted, he FORGETS TO EAT.  Who forgets to eat?  Not me. Ever.

At no time are our differences more prominent than when we are traveling.  This week, we traveled Southern California.  As we were traveling during the Jewish holiday of Passover where we could not eat food with leavening, our choices were already limited. And, as we were scheduled to arrive on Easter Sunday, I was in sheer panic that I would starve to death by Monday.

“I’m packing a steamer trunk of Kosher-for-Passover Matzo and Chocolate,” I announced.

“Don’t bother. We’ll bring a few Matzos and get stuff there,” he said.

“A few matzos? What will I eat on the plane? What if everything is closed?  What if no one in California carries matzo? We will be there for 5 DAYS!”

We arrived at the airport and got through security in enough time for me to visit the airport market and stuff my carry-on with hard-boiled eggs, fruit, and nuts.  As soon as the plane landed at noon, I made a discreet call to the Whole Foods of La Jolla, California and learned that they were open until 10 PM that night. Now, all I had worry about was whether the Whole Foods person I spoke with knew what she was talking about, and whether hubby would get so wrapped up in the beauty of sunny Southern California that he would choose to drift around on some stupid beach and lose interest in food.

Hubby’s first words when we got the rental car were “Let’s explore the beach.” He quickly added, “And we can find some lunch in town before checking into the hotel.”  Whew.

I discovered that, indeed, there are fruits and vegetables and proteins in Southern California. I discovered that supermarkets, Trader Joe’s and Peet’s Coffee were open on Easter Sunday, and that there were half-price Passover snacks at Ralph’s. Lo and behold, I did not starve. In fact, I did so much “non-starving” that it took miles and miles of walking to “pass over” any weight gain.  Glad to be home again.

5 Responses to “Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat, His Wife Could Eat No Lean – or My Husband is an Ectomorph”

  1. ruretzky April 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm #

    But what’s so good about all those matzoh carbs? It’s so unfair that the only foods I like during Passover are matzoh brie, matzah with butter, and matzoh meal pancakes…its a Passover Carb Celebration, and to make it just a little worse, they’re the special kind of carbs that make it particularly impossible to have just a short bathroom stay.

    • schmeightschmatchers April 18, 2012 at 6:06 pm #

      The key is to stick with fruits, vegetables, proteins, nuts and dried fruits (I know they are high in sugar) and avoid the clogging effect of matzohs

  2. ruretzky April 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm #

    Passover carbs – matzoh brie, matzoh with butter and salt, matzoh meal pancakes – not only put you way over the carb count, they’re the dry kind of carbs that make it impossible to leave the bathroom in under 15 minutes. Makes me want to shout, “Let my people go….to the Chinese restaurant!”

    • schmeightschmatchers April 18, 2012 at 6:08 pm #

      To commemorate the bondage in Egypt, we get all bound up in the intestines – eeww. Stick with fruits, veggies, nuts, chocolate, protein

  3. energywriter April 27, 2012 at 10:20 pm #

    So glad you found plenty to eat. Don’t you just “hate” people who forget to eat.

    Great meeting you at EBWW.

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