Pork Chop People

Today at the cafeteria lunch line, just ahead of me, was a skinny woman with a gravied pork dish, rice and a fountain soda.  I would have bet my weekly points that the soda was a regular coke—it was just that type of lunch tray.  Isn’t that always the way? I’m surrounded by fruit-less, vegetable-less skinny people chowing down on pork chops and white foods, and there I am with a tossed salad the size of Sheep Meadow, topped with 2 radishes and virtuous little spoonfuls of lean protein.

Indignant, I marched back to my desk and went right online to tally up the points from that skinny beeotch’s lunch tray.  Five ounce pork chop and gravy – 5 points.  Two-thirds a cup of rice (I wanted to make it a cup, but to be fair to her, it was realistically a 2/3 cup serving) – 3 points. There was probably a light sauce on the rice, but I couldn’t be sure. I was, after all, scrutinizing the tray from my peripheral vision. I gave it an extra 2 points. Then, there was a twelve-ounce cup of cola for 4 points.  Fourteen points!  I wondered what she had had for breakfast.  I’m going to say it was a glazed donut and tea with sugar.  I totaled it up. It was a 9-point breakfast. Would she forget to eat dinner or ride her bike for two   hours after work? I wouldn’t put it past her.

I deleted her food from my online tracker, hoping there were no people “behind the curtain” watching my online activity, and I added my lunch. Can I tell you that with all the little spoonfuls of this and that, the walnuts, and the dollop of whipped cream on top of the sugar-free jello, it came out to 12 points, just 2 points shy of pork chop lady’s? My breakfast was, similarly, just 2 points less than the fictitious junk fare I had projected onto her. I was a mere 20 baked chips away from being her points equal – and 15 of those chips were sitting in my bag for later.

I needed to take a break from all this tracking and eating—and tracking of eating—to get some work done. I got to work…then got to thinking again. Nothing is off limits on Weight Watchers, so if I wanted to, I could be like that. I could be a Skinny Pork Chop Lady too. Except, of course, I don’t eat pork.